Mood; Depressed...
Listening; First Love - Utada Hikaru
Eating/Drinking; Nothing
Currently; Staying up in the middle of the night...
Avatar from; Tenicons

Wow... I haven't been here for far too long. I apologize dearly for the really long hiatus. Things have gotten in the way and I've been very busy with many things, mainly my feelings and school. Well...for a start I'm sorry for the misalignment of my page. I was hoping this layout would turn out awesome but I guess it didn't... :/ *shrugs* Oh well. Sigh. I will fix it...eventually.

I've finally finished high school with A's and B's. I was surprised that I passed with good grades. I thought I was going to be nearly failing in some classes. I've been...slacking off for the second half of the year. Things have been in the way, like I said. I guess you could say that my emotions have been clogging my mentality. ._.;;; *sigh* I don't know where to start really... Basically I had my heart ripped into pieces and it's still that way right now. Long story made into a very short version. ... *sigh* I do not like complicated emotions.

IN OTHER GEEKY NEWS: I just found out that Fatal Frame IV will be coming out this upcoming August or September and I can't wait to see it! And it's NOT a continuation of the previous Fatal Frame games either. ^_^ I'm soooooo excited! Whee!!! (Even though I will not have a chance to play it but I'll watch someone play it for me. :3). And I also found out that another Naruto Shippuden movie is coming out too but not going to be subbed for a long while. ._.;;; *sigh* I don't like waiting, even though the first Shippuden movie was not as great. x_X I mean... I liked the whole thing with the priestess and everything but I was assuming that Naruto would die in the movie and she had some sort of power to revive him. Instead he become the hero of the whole movie (which I don't mind too much about but COME ON!! >.< Can't anyone else be the hero for once?! *looks at title of movie* Oh yeah... That's why).

Lately I've gotten myself back into Visual Kei again along with a little J-rock and honestly, it's helping me with my problems just a TINY bit. Music really is my medicine but it won't really help me in the long run; just a temporary drug to ease my depression. *sigh* So far I've gotten addicted to Rentrer en Soi's latest single STIGMATA. It's such a beautiful song and the lyrics are touching my heart dearly. >.< It pains me so~! *cries*

...Okay I'm going to go on GaiaOnline now and busy myself with...RPing. *sigh* I want to be out of this cycle of...pain. Ciao~ (And I apologize for such a long entry...)

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Mood; Lonely...
Listening; Dirty Little Secret - All-American Rejects
Eating/Drinking; Nothing/Orange Juice
Currently; Doing homework I didn't do last night >_>;;;
Avatar from; Tenicons

Okay here I am, sitting at my desk waiting for school to start (apparently I have two hour delay after I walked to my bus stop =_=;;; ). I should be doing my current events for my Sociology class BUT I have other things in my mind that is just preoccupying too much space for me to think. Oh by the way I'm not with him anymore. I broke it with him because honestly, I wasn't feeling mutual emotions in return and I always thought he was the one but I was only dreaming in my head. I told him that I do not feel the love toward him anymore. But now I don't know what to think anymore. I've been having conflicting emotions in my heart and I'm getting tired of always thinking about him when he told me basically to find some real friends. It already looks like he has moved on since he already has another "best girl friend" to talk to...so why am I still looking behind me? I still feel this angst-y lonely stab in my chest....

*sigh* Anyway... I got into another college. That makes two acceptances I have received. I'm still waiting on three more and I STILL need to fill out my FAFSA forms... =_=;;; I swear those things are starting to tire me... I still need help in filling those out along with filling out scholarship stuff. TOO MUCH THINGS TO DO!!! >o< *sigh* ...I need to change the layout. Lunar New Year just past (by the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!) and I want something new. >_< Just need some kind of inspiration... I'll probably ask Ryuna! xD LMAO.

Okay back to my current events. >_< Ja ne minna-san! (Ryuna~ I'm gonna stalk you online. :3 )

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Mood; Numb...
Listening; I Wish I May - Breaking Benjamin
Eating/Drinking; Ice Cream♥/Milk
Currently; Listening to Breaking Benjamin albums my brother gave me ^_^ along with feeling confused...
Avatar from; Tenicons

Wow... It's finally the first month of 2008; graduation year for me. I was feeling indifferent about the whole thing. Many things happened between the end of December to right now, where I'm updating on what's been going on in my life. For starters, Happy Belated New Year to all of my blogging buddies out there! ^_^ Thank you for being patient about my updates. My resolution for this year: update this at least twice a week. Hopefully...

Well... I'm back with him again. I find it surprising that this still goes on really... I am happy, yes...but a friend of mine asked me why I was back with him and I actually found myself not being able to answer her. I just want him to be happy and according to one of my friends he told me that he is happier looking lately. And I love seeing that smile on his face. But I have no obligation or duty to keep him happy because I can't see into the future. From what I've learned at church, my future is uncertain. So for now...I'll just put a smile on his face one day at a time. That's my desire for now.

I've always had this...blind sight and opinions about people. Smiles are deceiving, convincing, and cruel. I've always seen this smile on this one person I thought I somehow was in good terms (not a close bond) with. I always thought they were forgiving, kind, and warm-hearted. But my image was shattered by a simple means of the truth. Apparently they regret bringing me to a place where I finally found hope. And I've given this person much thanks to God for bringing me to a place where I'm able to find hope in my family and my life. But now...I don't know what to think. Sometimes I wish I can just...go to sleep. Be in a place where reality doesn't exist. Nothing but me and the clouds... Reality hurts like...shit (excuse me for the language...). I just don't understand why we have to go through all of this hurt, depression, pain, and regret. Is it worth it when we are gone?

Overall my life seems peachy. I got accepted into one college so far. Just six more to go! Woohoo! My family life is going great; I'm closer with my brother but far away from my mother. ...I'm gonna try to work on the mother-daughter relationship between us. @_@ Friends... I LOVE MY GIRLS<333. =^__^= And school? It's almost half-way done with the year. Next week is midyears/finals for me. Wish me luck on that! ^.^ And love life? Honestly, I love him<3 and I'm happy with him. Okay, Annie is going to sign off now! ^_^ Ja ne minna-san!

I can be your enemy
Why should I have to wait
I'll just look the other way
I Wish I May - Breaking Benjamin

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